Finding Forever Read online

  They had both decided to write their own, and it was such a beautiful thing. An expression of their love for one another that was perfectly scripted from the heart. Cal had poured his soul into the words he had spoken to Brandon, and I was sure by the time the ceremony was finally over, there wouldn’t be a dry eye in the place. Addie nudged my arm, and I glanced over my shoulder at her and noticed the sheen of tears in her eyes.

  “The ring,” she whispered, reminding me of the one on my thumb that I had been holding onto for Brandon.

  Feeling everyone’s eyes on me, I hurriedly slipped it off and apologetically smiled at Brandon who stood facing me, patiently waiting. His gaze held mine, and I mouthed the word, “sorry,” as I handed him the ring. When his fingers grazed mine, he surprised me by leaning forward and brushing his lips against my cheek.

  “It’s all good, Kara,” he whispered near my ear, then he turned away, focusing his attention on Cal, and began to recite his vows.

  At the pledge of his eternal love, my eyes drifted to Devon. I couldn’t help myself. I was entirely too conscious of him. He sat with his hand resting atop the silver cane leaning against his knee. The cane had become his new accessory ever since the accident, but it did absolutely nothing to distract from his masculine beauty. Even with a limp, he was perfection to me.

  The gangly build of his youth had been replaced by the forged hard steel of muscle, probably honed from years of lifting heavy equipment and parts in his shop. He filled out the gray suit he had worn for the occasion well, and, with a blue tie the exact same shade as his eyes, he was breathtaking. Even the lines of his face had matured. He had changed so much from the young boy I had fallen in love with, and was still too handsome for my peace of mind.

  There was a stamp of maturity in the firm lines of his jaw and the chiseled planes of his cheeks that had replaced all of that boyish charm that used to drive me crazy. He was pure male. His hair remained just as shaggy as I’d always remembered. I’d ran my fingers through it countless times, loving the feel of the silky texture. While everything else about him may have changed, for some silly reason knowing that he’d kept his hair the same made me want to smile. Today he wore it slicked back and styled. He reminded me of a young, debonair Rhett Butler from “Gone with the Wind.”

  His eyes momentarily met mine, and I quickly glanced away embarrassed at being caught in the act of staring at him. As the pastor declared Cal and Brandon joined in matrimony, the church exploded with noise. Addie startled me when she wrapped both arms around me in a hug. “Can you believe it? They finally did it?” She yelled, and we stood there with our arms wrapped around one another laughing as the piano began to play once more. Brandon and Cal were all smiles as they made their way back down the aisle, side by side.

  “It was beautiful,” I told her. Jake walked over and stood beside Addie. He smiled at the both of us. His gaze though entirely focused on Addie. His expression made my heart ache. He loved her, and I longed for someone of my own who would love me with that same intensity in return. Addie’s arms slipped from around me, and she moved to Jake’s side giving him a brief hug.

  “Glad that’s over with,” Jake said jokingly, and Addie playfully slapped his arm. He grabbed her in retaliation and tucked her snugly back against his side smiling down at her.

  “You two are so cute, it’s sickening,” I said, hearing them both laugh at my teasing.

  “I use to think the same thing about you,” Addie replied, her smile immediately slipped a notch. She pulled away from Jake and came flying toward me and wrapped her arms right back around me. There wasn’t a spiteful bone in Addie’s body. She didn’t mean to hurt me. She was right. I too had once been that happy. “I didn’t mean it, Kara. I was just so caught in the moment. I would never intentionally say or do anything to cause you pain.”

  “It’s okay,” I said, trying to reassure her. Addie had such a soft heart. She and I were alike in so many ways… yet so different. I didn’t expect for her to walk on eggshells around me. Anyway, it had been four years ago. Life goes on whether we want it to or not. I am supposed to be over Devon by now. With him and Jake best friends, it was hard not to hear his name dropped every now and then. I didn’t want Addie to think I was going to fall to pieces every time someone mentioned his name. It wasn’t like some horrible curse word or a disease that everyone always had to whisper and feel they couldn’t say in front of me. It was just a name.

  Addie looked stricken. I could have sworn she was about to cry. “You stop that,” I ordered, pulling her arms from around my waist and taking her hands in mine. “I’m tougher than you give me credit for, Addie. I’m not going to fall apart if you mention him or say his name out loud. He is a part of your and Jake’s life… just like I am.”

  “But,” Addie stammered, her brown eyes full of regret. Her expression worried.

  “No buts,” I interrupted her. “It’s okay, I promise.” I let go of her hands and held up my pinky finger. She smiled back at me, wrapping her pinky around mine.

  “I didn’t mean to be so insensitive,” she said, trying to smile.

  “You’re not, “I told her, looking up and catching Jake watching us. He was smiling and shaking his head. “I swear, Jake Riley, if I didn’t know better, I would accuse you of knocking Addie up.” She was so emotional, more so than usual, but Addie always was. The expression that passed across Jake’s face was priceless.

  “We were going to tell you tonight at the reception,” Jake explained with a sheepish smile.

  “Shut up!” I screamed, thankful that the church was practically empty. I didn’t care anyway. I pulled Addie into a huge hug. She was crying and laughing. “How far along?” I asked excitedly. I was going to be an aunt. Hot damn!

  “Three months,” Addie replied, smiling back at me. She was wiping her cheeks when Jake pulled a tissue from his pocket handing it to her.

  “We should probably buy stock in Kleenex,” he joked. There was such a tender smile on his face that it should have been comical coming from such a manly guy like himself. I wanted to tease him, but I didn’t have the heart. He was so in tune with the needs of his pregnant wife. It was as if God had handpicked Jake especially for Addie.

  “I can’t believe you kept this from me. We talk on the phone almost every other day.”

  “We didn’t want anyone to know just yet, not until we hit the three month marker. I had a little bit of spotting during the first month, but it passed. I was afraid that something would happen,” Addie explained, her eyes shifting anxiously from me to Jake.

  Addie was good at keeping secrets. She’d kept one so well that it could have eventually killed her, and Brandon and I had been none the wiser until we caught her intending to hurt herself. That was how my best friend used to cope with the loss of her sister. Her grief had almost been her undoing. I was thankful that all of that was behind her now.

  “Do your parents know yet?” I asked her as Jake took her hand reassuringly in his.

  “Mine do,” he said, grinning from ear to ear. “They are beside themselves. Mom already has plans to teach baby Riley the guitar. My sisters want a girl, and my dad… well, he just can’t quit smiling.”

  Addie chewed on her bottom lip nervously. It was one of her tells. If something was bothering her or she was upset, she chewed on her lip. I knew her like the back of my hand. “You haven’t told your mom and dad?” I asked, already knowing the answer.

  “No,” Addie replied, and Jake appeared to reassuringly squeeze her hand. His eyes met mine. He started to speak then decided against it. He shook his head at me. “With what happened to Natalie, I wanted to wait. I plan to tell them soon.” She said, her expression anxious.

  It was obvious Jake was not in agreement with Addie’s decision. When Natalie had passed away, she’d been pregnant. With her parent’s discovering the pregnancy on the same day they’d lost their daughter, I understood Addie’s hesitancy to share her and Jake’s happy news. “It wi
ll all be okay,” I told her, smiling. “I can’t believe it; I’m going to be an aunt.”

  “Did you guys plan this? How did this happen?” I asked, still somewhat stunned by Addie’s pregnancy. I was thrilled for the both of them, but they were right in the process of moving back to Crawley. Addie had to find a job, and Jake would be working with Devon at the garage. Devon had finally made a name for himself and that garage of his. He was known statewide.

  “Kara, I believe you of all people know how babies get here.” Jake smirked sarcastically, and Addie laughed at his witty reply.

  “Smartass,” I retorted, then silently chastised myself because we were still standing in the middle of the church. At any given moment, I expected to be struck down by lightning.

  “Remember when I had that really bad case of strep and had to take two rounds of antibiotics before I finally got over it?” Addie recalled smiling. I did remember because she had been so sick. She’d stayed in the bed for three days. “I forgot one of the golden rules for oral contraception. Antibiotics and birth control pills don’t like each other very well.”

  I laughed, since there were probably a million babies born in this world right now due to that little side effect of taking medication while on birth control pills. The two did not mix. “It was a happy surprise,” Addie stated, smiling lovingly at Jake who smiled back at her like she was his whole world.

  “We couldn’t be happier,” Jake said, and then glanced down at his watch as if suddenly remembering something. “I hate to break this up, but if we don’t get to that reception, Cal and Brandon will disown us.”

  “Oh my gosh,” Addie gasped. “I’d completely forgotten all about it.”

  “Yeah, we better get going,” I agreed. Brandon would have his undies in a wad if we didn’t arrive soon.

  “I’m surprised he hasn’t called by now,” Addie stated as she took Jake’s arm and we walked toward the center aisle of the church.

  “He’s preoccupied or he would have, thank God.” I replied, following after them.

  “So, if it’s a girl,” I said loudly, and Addie glanced back at me smiling. “We have to give her a goddess name.”

  Jake stopped in his tracks, causing Addie to pause. Both turned around to face me.

  “Just saying, Jake. It would only be right.” I told him, trying to hide a smile.

  “I’m not having this discussion with you right now,” he replied, obviously wanting to put an end to my influence on Addie’s decision making for baby names. “Addie is not listening to you. You are not going to give my daughter some crazy ass name she has to live with the rest of her life.” He huffed, staring me down with glaring eyes.

  I tried to look offended, but I don’t think that Jake cared either way. Addie was laughing at the two of us. “How about Goddessa?” I asked, watching as Jake’s frown deepened while Addie continued to smile.

  “I kind of like it, Jake,” Addie teased, her expression full of mischief.

  “Absolutely not,” he retorted, looking at her as if she’d temporarily lost her mind. “That sounds like the name of a chocolate company. No way in hell. Do you both hear me?” He argued, and I laughed… as if he would deny Addie anything. If she wanted to name that baby Jupiter, he would let her. Me on the other, he had no problem saying no to.

  “Well, I did have that Greek mythology course as one of my electives. I really like the name Astrithr,” I stated defensively, deciding not to back down. I liked pushing Jake’s buttons. Astrithr was old German, which I hoped he didn’t know. It also meant Goddess. I was sneaky like that.

  “Did you sneeze?” He asked me incredulously, his expression, one of amazement. Addie chuckled until she was gasping for air. “Enough, Kara. Don’t speak to me again until we make it to the reception.”

  As I followed after them, I couldn’t help but giggle. It was so much fun to make Jake squirm. Addie delighted in it too. She just wouldn’t admit it. I was going to be an auntie, and an awesome one at that. With Jake and Addie’s good news uplifting my spirits, I realized I could handle anything right now… even facing Devon McGraw at the reception.

  It wasn’t a big deal. We would just avoid each other like we always had. With a smile on my lips, I plucked one of the calla lilies from the arrangement by the door and tucked it behind my ear.

  “I’ll meet you at the reception,” I yelled after Addie and Jake as they walked across the lawn to the parking lot. I headed in the opposite direction. My car was parked along a side street near the back of the church. By the time I’d arrived, I’d been lucky to find a spot to park. Addie waved at me, but Jake ignored me. That was so typical of him.

  As I walked, I couldn’t help but hum “Rock A Bye Baby” underneath my breath.

  Hell, yeah! I would be the best auntie ever to little Astrithr!

  CHAPTER TWO

  BY THE TIME I’D MADE the drive to the Hilltop Country Club, Addie and Jake had already gone inside. Addie had sent me a text, but I’d told her and Jake not to wait for me. I’d stopped and fueled up my car before heading that way since the dash light had come on and the gas gauge had been sitting on E. I was always forgetting to buy gas. When I’d turned my Escort over to the valet, I wished I’d had a camera to capture his expression when I’d handed him the keys. It had been comical. While I was extremely sentimental about my car, it was definitely past time to get a new ride. At this point she was basically running on hopes and dreams.

  As I made my way up the dimly lit cobblestone walkway, toward the front entrance, I tried to hurry, but it was damn near impossible in my high heels. I was already late. Brandon would shit if I’d missed him and Cal cutting the cake. I’d never hear the end of it. He’d become a regular Bridezilla throughout the entire process of planning this event.

  The building was impressive. Well actually, it was a mansion. The outside boasted a mixture of stone and faded red brick, and sported sleek round white columns along the length of the vast veranda that stretched across the front. It reminded me of one of those historical antebellum plantations from the eighteen hundreds one would find in the backwoods of Louisiana. All it was lacking were a few Spanish moss trees along the drive with their branches dripping in green to complete the effect. It was absolutely gorgeous and over the top, just like Brandon. The wedding and reception alone had costed a cool mint. It was a good thing that Cal was an attorney since Brandon was still an undergrad who planned to start law school this coming fall.

  With the sounds of summer drifting lazily along the warm evening air, fireflies groggily rose from the meticulous trimmed lawn to fondly greet the approaching dusk. As I made my way up the steps and onto the veranda, I noticed the large sculpted pots of lush flowers on display. They were already in full bloom. A warm breeze sent stray strands of my straight blonde hair gliding across my face. I tucked the strands behind my right ear and caught the faint smell of tobacco clinging in the air. No matter how much time passed, whenever I smelled a cigarette, I always thought of him… Devon.

  It was that bittersweet reminder that caused me to momentarily pause as I reached to pull open the door to step inside. Out of the corner of my eye, a fleck of red caught my attention. I stared down the distance of the dimly lit veranda, noticing the shadowy shape of a man. My heart rate quickened. Turning back toward the door, I hurried inside, leaving all thoughts of Devon, for the moment, outside with the stranger hidden within the shadows.

  My heels clicked along the marble floor of the massive foyer as I followed the directions from the gold plated sign elegantly scripted with the names of Mulligan and Blythe. They even sounded like attorney names, I thought, smiling. I paused, standing just inside the doorway of the vast ballroom, trying to find my crew among the many people already gathered inside. It was definitely a party as the place was packed. I was so caught up in looking for them that I didn’t notice someone standing behind me until I wobbled unsteadily in my heels, taking a step back only to connect with a solid wall of muscle. As
soon as those hands touched me, I knew.

  “Have you already been drinking, Kara?” a voice asked.

  Devon’s raspy timber assaulted my ears, sliding like smooth silk along the most intimate parts of my body. My reaction was instantaneous; a flash fire in high wind. My face flushed. My heart rate accelerated. My breaths grew shallow. He’d always had this effect on me. Trying not to let him sense how much his nearness distracted me, I stepped forward feeling the sensation of his calloused hands slide along my skin as his fingers slipped from my arms. I shivered and forced a bright smile as I bravely turned around to face him.

  This was it. Game face in place.

  “Not yet, Devon,” I replied, noticing the way his eyes leisurely drifted along my features. He had no business staring at me with that look in his eyes. I wasn’t his anymore. He’d thrown me away. I straightened my shoulders, standing taller as if preparing myself for battle, and noticed his smug expression. His gaze was momentarily distracted by my girls. It was good to know that he wasn’t as immune to my charms as he would have liked me to believe. “Eyes up here, buddy,” I saucily reminded him.

  He didn’t even have the grace to look ashamed that he’d been caught checking me out. There was nothing shameful about Devon. Well, except for his behavior tonight and the way he filled out the gray suit that he wore. His full lips curved into a wicked grin causing the simmering warmth in my stomach to spread like molten lava throughout my entire body and sending a shock to my system. It would be so easy just to let myself get lost in those glacier blues of his, to let him cool the fire he’d started inside of me. I had to forcibly remind myself — he wasn’t mine anymore. He belonged to someone else.

  His dimples momentarily distracted me from whatever flippant remark I’d planned to unleash upon his broad shoulders. “Well, you better be careful in those shoes,” he warned, still smiling. “With a little alcohol, that could be a dangerous combination.”

  “Really, Devon,” I replied, his gaze now seemed entirely too focused on each syllable that fell from my lips. It was as if he were mesmerized by the sound of my voice. The air crackled between us. His smell was addictive. The combination of him and Hugo Boss made my insides clinch. It was obvious he’d remembered all of those good times we used to have together — of me being just a little bit tipsy and him loving the sight of me wearing nothing but my high heels. His expression hardened. When I turned following the direction of his stare, it was as if I’d suddenly been doused in ice water. I came to my senses immediately. I didn’t know what his problem was, but I had no intentions of trying to help him make his girlfriend jealous since SHE had been by his side ever since the day of the accident. “Well, nice to see you, Devon.” I said sarcastically, intending to walk away but pausing at hearing the sound of his voice.